Classified Ads

Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers

- Illiterate? Write today for free help.

- Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

- Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

- Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

- Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

- Stock up and save. Limit: one.

- Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

- 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

- Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

- Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

- Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

- For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

- Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

- For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

- Great Dames for sale.

- Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

- Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.

- Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

- Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

- The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

-Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.

- Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

- For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

- Man, honest. Will take anything.

- Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

- Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

- Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.

- Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

- Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

- Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

- And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

- We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.


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