Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why do carpet installers offer an "installation guarantee"? Does carpet spontaneously de-install itself?
- Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
- For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
- I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
- It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
- Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
- Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
- Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
- Department of Redundancy Department
- Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
- 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
- Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
- Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
- All computers wait at the same speed.
- Does fuzzy logic tickle?
- ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
- Hit any user to continue.
- Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
- My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
- The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
- Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
- Buy a Pentium 586/200 so you can reboot faster.
- C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN